


Sweet Scenarios- Mystic Messenger Oneshots (Reader Inserts)

by TamagoLucky



Category: Mystic Messenger (Video Game)
Genre: F/F, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Humor, Mystic Messenger Cast/Reader, Oneshot, Only for Luciel and Jumin, Romance, Super light intimacy, collection, hope yall enjoy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-17
Updated: 2017-10-17
Packaged: 2019-01-18 15:03:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 6,013
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12390507
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TamagoLucky/pseuds/TamagoLucky
Summary: Yoosung | VanillaZen | GingerbreadJaehee | CoffeeJumin | Almond707 | RaspberrySaeran | MacadamiaV | Pistachio





	1. Yoosung | Vanilla

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Students always stressed.  
> Pastry makes things better  
> Mostly

It was hard enough that you were both full time students- as much as you were joined at the hip, there was only so much advanced statistics Yoosung could cope with (and biology wasn't really your cup of tea…). You tended to rotate late nights, and today it was your turn to drag your sorry bones through the school parking lot. Even though it was late evening, you could spot your battered car from a mile away, and good thing too, because it was parked unjustifiably far away. As you got closer, you could see your knight in shining armour, or at least the top of his head- he was hunkered down over some damn game or something, too engrossed to notice you standing by the window. A light tap on the car roof (thUNK) was enough to startle him, and he shot up in his seat. As you slid in to the passenger's side, he fixed you with a guilty smile. Cute, but too little too late. 

You gave him a stink eye. 

He gave you a paper bag.

You gave him a look. 

He gave you a wink. 

You gave him a small smile. 

He gave you a sheepish grin.

You grabbed his squishy cheeks and brought your lips to his.

Mmmm. His lips were soft and sweet, and you had a quality view of lavender eyes before his lids fluttered closed.  
Yours did the same, and you could feel lashes brushing your cheeks. Sensing a longer game, the two of you pulled apart briefly to take off seatbelts, turning as you did so to face one another full on. You couldn't keep the smile away as he put his arms around your waist and pulled you in. You helped by mussing your hands through that fluffy, sandy hair and murmuring something about readings before you were lost in a rosy haze of cologne and hormones. He started kissing a little more ferociously, and you obliged by pushing your tongue against his teeth- he let it in rather quickly. 

Uhn, good shit. 

Your tongues mingled, and you breathed together. You were lost in each other, moving with a sweet passion, there in that world that existed only between the two of you. Your hands moved around his shoulders and back, gently tracing swirls and flowers. He was soft and warm and delicious, and tasted just like… vanilla. Not just figuratively, it was like you wandered into a bakery, full of cakes and pastries and general sweet goodness.

Wait.

You jerked back. He regarded you with a baleful expression.

"You bastard, you started without me."

His expression read 'Oh shit.'

"I-I no I just thought since I'd be driving I wouldn’t be able to e-eat it at the same time and I don’t know I guess I was hungry maybe but I'm sorry really next time I won't I promise I hav…"

He trailed off when he saw your expression.

"I guess I should finish off this pastry now," you said slowly.

"B-but I got your favourite, right? Vanilla? MC? Vanilla?"

"Hmmm, vanilla's pretty nice I guess," you began with a long sigh.

Yoosung looked a little crestfallen.

"But I think right now… I'm in the mood for something a little… darker…" 

You could tell without doubt the exact moment his face went from reproach to realisation as he caught the gleam in your eye.

Poor boy's foot hit the accelerator so hard his head smacked the steering wheel.


	2. Zen | Gingerbread

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kitchen shitstorm.  
> Profanity warning.  
> Zen is a legend.

To be fair, you hadn't expected the gingerbread house to be a roaring success. Just because Zen was a beloved God of the acting world, didn't mean his many talents carried over to art, right? But this, this masterpiece of fuckery exceeded all expectations. Three hours in, you probably should have started paying attention to the small red flags, ones that kept popping up with an "um, sweetcakes, should I chop more ginger?' or a "hey hon, how come the flour won't come out of the cup?". Hour five might have given the game away, when his hair got caught in the oven, and hour seven should have been a sign to at least take a raincheck, if not the gingerbread out of the oven.

"Babe, I'm telling you we should have at least bought a kit."

"You were the one who wanted a fucking Authentic Christmas Zen, I told you I was sceptical."

"Says the one who suggested it in the fucking first place."

"Well at least I was doing it for us, you opened that god damn mouth in front of eight thousand fangirls and got us into this mess!"

"That's irrelevanT"

"YouR EGO WAS SUPPOSED TO BE IRRELEVENT, BUT HERE WE ARE."

"YOU WERE ALL GUNG-HO FOR THIS GOD DAMN PROJECT, AND HERE YOU ARE TELLING ME I GOT US INTO THIS MESS?! I THINK. THE FUCK. NOT

"HEY, MAYBE THIS WOULDN'T HAVE BEEN SUCH A CLUSTERFUCK IF YOU'D FOLLOWED. THE!!FCJKVHING!!RECIPE!

"I WOULD STILL BE FOLLOWING THE FUCKING RECIPE IF YOU HADN'T STARTED YELLING AT ME!

"IT WOULD BE FUCKING DONE IF YOU HADN'T STARTED YELLING AT ME FIRST."

"YOU FUCKING STARTED YELLING AT ME FIRST. FUCK YOU."

"FUCK. YOU."

"FUCK!! YOU!!!"

"FUCKK, YOUUUUghcdj" You collapsed into a fit of coughing, most likely brought on by oven smoke. Zen was by your side immediately, hand on your shoulders and eyes alert. You had to hand it to him, the man did have his priorities straight. 

You straightened immediately, and held his gaze.

"Your concern is appreciated," you grunted.

"Ugh, but babe, seriously. I know I made a huge mistake announcing our Christmas plans on live television. I screwed up and then over reacted, I'm sorry."

God you hated it when he stole the moral high ground like that.

God you hated those beautiful eyes.

God he was hot when he was apologetic.

"No, it's my fault too. I should have grabbed a premade set. We were going to go on a beautiful forest walk, and shop for presents, and go for a ride once it got dark enough to see the lights…" Ahhh, you'd really been looking forward to today. You both had.

Your face crumpled a little, and Zen threw his (really nicely toned) arms around you. You relaxed into his embrace, and the two of you just stood, there in your shitstorm of a kitchen, no sound but the shaky breathing. 

"I hate gingerbread."

Zen pulled back to look at you, bringing a hand to stroke your pouting cheek and watery eyes.

"But look, MC. We made a house."

"We made a pile of jellybean encrusted turds with frosting."

"We made an effort. And now we're done. We can finally rest." He stroked your hair from your face, and you started relaxing once again into his touch. Until

"FUCK. THE DISHES." 

MC.exe stopped working. Zen visibly paled, except for the red blotches that glowed on his usually so majestic features.

You staggered backwards, spiralling into a pit of dread and exhaustion. From the periphery of your tunnel vision, you could see Zen breathe in, out, in and straighten his back.

"I volunteer as tribute."

Fuck. A Christmas miracle.

"Zen, you're kidding."

"Merry Christmas, little pudding."

Even that nickname couldn't dampen your bursting spirits.

"Actually?!!! I-I. What can I do to m-make it up?" 

Your knees were already trembling with weakness as Zen closed the distance between you, and backed you against the counter.

"You can let me bend you over a squeaky clean countertop and give you the Zen Christmas DLC, extended Premium edition."

"I volunteer as tribute also."

His lips crushed yours, and you felt your soul leave your body on a gingerbread cloud. As he drew back and turned to begin running the hot water with a heroic swagger, you only had enough energy to sink to the ground, drained of all cognitive capacity. There you sat, front row seat, unable to do anything but watch his shapely hips sway to cheesy Christmas hits until the clock struck midnight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You both slept well...


	3. Jaehee | Coffee

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stressed girlfriend  
> Needs coffee and snuggles  
> Gets them

You could hear Jaehee before you could see her. A whirlwind of stressed girlfriend tore through the front door, high heels thrown with a vengeance against the wall. It may have been your imagination, but you could have sworn you heard an ominous low rumbling. You closed your eyes, and counted out the three seconds it usually took her to walk the hallway. You only got to two before she burst through the door.

Her eyes met yours briefly, long enough to catch a flash of delirium through the smudged mascara. She paused in the living room, chest heaving, jaw slightly slack. 

"Rough day, huh."

Jaehee nodded, still panting in the middle of the room.

"Hey, you're home now."

"No, MC, I'm not home, I'm fifteen pages away from being allowed to leave this workplace of hell. 'Have it on my desk by tomorrow morning,' he said. 'This is for a very important client, so it must be a work of the highest calibre,' he said. 'Also, see to it that Elizabeth the 3rd gets to her photoshoot on time, you must uphold C&R's professional standards, assistant Kang,' he said. 'Also, could you wipe my gold-plated ass for me, I seem to have lost the inclination'…"

Jumin had finally broken her. You weren't sure if that last quote was verboten, but decided not to push the point. 

"You need the strong stuff, Jae," you started gently, rising from the couch and padding to the kitchen. You lightly touched her shoulder on the way, and weren't surprised to find that it was trembling.   
She moved to follow you, but you grabbed her hand and led her back to the couch, sitting her down against a cushion and covering her with the blanket.

"No no no MC, you don't understand, I have to get this done befor-" Her voice quivered, and she looked at you pleadingly. 

"Sit. Stay."

"Please, the boss man will have my soul if I don't get it done this very instant."

"Zombie Man can wait."

Ignoring her protests, you moved back to the kitchen and fired up the coffee machine. The familiar noise placated her somewhat, and you could hear her murmuring as you opened the cupboard and grabbed the jar on the top shelf, the one with the warning label on it. 

You poured the beans into the grinder, shuddering slightly as you caught a whiff of the pungent coffee aroma. You weren't a wuss when it came to strong coffee, but this particular blend had been engineered for the sole purpose of satisfying Jaehee's inhuman cravings. The stuff was deadly.

You grabbed your girlfriend's favourite Zen mug, poured in the tarlike liquid and started frothing the milk. When that was done, you poured in the milk, tilting the mug as you did so to form the shape of a coffee bean on top. You dusted it with chocolate flakes and brought it over, wincing whenever your knuckles brushed the scalding hot ceramic. 

"Jae, this one's pretty hot, so be careful-"

As you handed her the coffee, Jaehee made an unintelligible honk of appreciation, not even bothering to test the temperature before taking a massive gulp. Her frame twitched and slumped, and she let out a shuddering sigh.

"Fuuuck."

"Better?" You slid down on the couch next to her, brushing shoulders and ankles.

"Hahhhh." Jaehee's eyes were closed and watery, and her breathing got steadier. The mug lolled out of her hand and rolled across the couch- you had a moment of panic before you realised it was empty.

"Well that didn’t touch the sides." You shifted your weight, and guided her head down to your lap. 

Jaehee's eyelids fluttered, and she murmured appreciatively as you ran your fingers through her silky hair. You could feel her melt against your touch, and you stroked her head softly. 

After a good twenty minutes of tender Jaehee snuggles, she drew back and looked at you lovingly. 

"So before you do anything Jae, let's get you into the shower and find you some comfy clothes."

Instead of responding however, Jaehee leaned in and kissed you slowly. She was warm, soft and tasted like coffee.   
Hmmmm. Work could wait…


	4. Jumin | Almond

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Boy thinks he  
> Can steal yo almonds.  
> Mmhm.

"What are those, MC?"

"They're dark chocolate covered almonds, Jumin."

"What are they? Which company’s specialty are they? What grade chocolate are they?"�This man was full of curiosity.

Honestly, you hadn't thought this far ahead. You finally had a chance to go back to your hometown, visit your old friends and family, breathe in that still-familiar home smell. As part of your trip down memory lane, you thought you'd visit the local groceries and greet Mr G, and reminisce with the assistance of your old comfort food- those beautifully wallet-friendly chocolate coated almonds. As a student they'd been your go-to- chocolate that was more chemical than coco-bean, and you were pretty sure that any almond (or at least its nutritional value) had long ago disintegrated into the chocolate shell. Still tasted damn good. 

To be fair, you thought it would be cute to share a little part of your past with your fiancé- tell him wondrous stories of your broke-ass student days as you lay side by side on the king-sized bed. Ah, a naïve fantasy.

Jumin was still staring at the packet like it was a feature prop in a low-budget alien movie.

"I just thought you might want to see how I spent my well-earned money in my peasant years."

Jumin blinked slowly. "I didn't know they still called people that."

God actual damn, your man was dense.

"It's a figure of speech Jumin."

He nodded sagely. "Yes."

No, Jumin. No.

Sensing the conversation's intrinsic pointlessness, you decided to cut your losses.

"Now then, tell me about your day."

Jumin followed you to the couch, where the two of you sat with Elizabeth the 3rd settling comfortably between. She purred indulgently as he ran his hands through her luscious fur, not really caring as he intoned his new business plans. 

You tried not to be jealous of that damn spoiled cat- tried and failed- and resorted to snuggling against his substantial frame, humming softly as he brought his 'cat hand' to stroke your hair instead.

Take that, feline rival.

You sat quietly like this for a while. Jumin, sensing you weren't hanging off his every word, made an executive decision to be silent, and so the room was filled only with gentle breathing and the occasional petulant meow. Sitting like this, you could lose yourself in that real Jumin smell, a mix of fancy cologne and pressed shirt, with just a tiny touch of human. It felt damn good. 

And, as if on cue, there was that tightening sensation in your bladder. Typical.

Mumbling excuses, you extricated yourself from his arms and shuffled towards the hallway. Once seated on the clean white porcelain, you closed your eyes and relieved yourself with a sigh. 

While you generally prided yourself on being punctual, there were in this world some things that couldn't be rushed, and so it was that you emerged triumphantly a full hour later.

Walking back into the living room, you could see Jumin still on the couch, limbs splayed out and shirt slightly open.   
His eyes were heavy lidded, and you felt your heart thump a little faster as you realised his vulnerability.

Striding over, you wasted no time in straddling his thighs, sitting flush against him. You cupped your hands around his chiseled jawline, and he grunted appreciatively as you planted a stream of kisses from his collarbone to ear, moving his hands to secure your waist.

You pulled back just enough to lock eyes, charcoal and gleaming, exhaling slowly. As you inhaled again, you brought your lips to his, tilting your head and pushing gently. He kissed you back leisurely, sliding and sweeping his tongue against yours. You pulled him in even closer, and the kissing became more ferocious- chests heaving against each other as you grabbed a handful of his coarse black hair. 

Jumin had an unusually distinctive taste today. It was dark and chocolatey, with a strangely seductive undercurrent of… pecan? Walnut? No, almond.

Uhuh. 

You opened your eyes a little, and sure enough you caught the gleam of grocery store plastic in your periphery. This needed to be addressed.

You drew back, and looked at him reproachfully. 

"You could have waited to open them, Jumin."

"MC, I am familiar with your bathroom habits."

"Granted, but did you really have to eat two goddamn thirds of the stuff?" 

"They were surprisingly agreeable."

"You'll be sick."

"You'll have to nurse me then."

"You'd like that, wouldn't you."

"Yes."

This man was impossible.


	5. 707 | Raspberries

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He attac  
> He protec  
> But most importantly  
> He Rek

"You know what this means MC."

Yellow eyes glinted puckishly from across the counter top.

"I am well aware, Agent Seven."

"Just because we have serious romantic relations doesn't mean I intend to pull my punches."

"A declaration of war as an olive branch is not meant, my padawan."

"Only one of us will emerge victorious, my love."

"I wouldn't have it any other way."

His hands shot out at the speed of light, but you were prepared. Batting them away with a dainty crescent kick, you turned on your tail and ran out of the kitchen, Saeyoung's bare footsteps resounding on the floorboards as he gave pursuit.

You cut the hallway corners close, using your free hand as a buffer against the walls as you cradled the punnet of raspberries in the other. 

Obstacle 1. Saeran traipsed out from the bathroom yawning, only to be startled fully awake by a blur of hair and nerves barreling under his nose. He gave a frightened yelp, and you spat out a garbled apology without slowing. 

A second blur slid effortlessly through his legs and disappeared down the hallway. 

Damn it, he was gaining.

Thinking on your feet, you swerved down a shorter corridor and took a hasty left, sliding behind the door and doing your best to stifle heavy breathing. You could hear Saeyoung trample past, and were about to let out a sigh of relief when the footsteps paused.

Shit. You could smell the delight from there.

Ain't nobody got time for that. You flung the door open and were about to sprint off in the opposite direction, but not before you felt his fingers grab a fistful of fabric. Damn.

Desperate times called for desperate measures. You grabbed the base of your shirt and flung it off in one jerky movement. Still with the raspberries in a death grip, you shot off again, followed by his cries of rage. Your balled-up shirt biffed off your back, but you weren't about to fall for such rudimentary baiting tactics. You kept running.

You couldn't hear his footsteps behind. Bitch was up to something, but at least it gave you more time to prepare. 

You set up base in his room- yours was too easy to navigate.   
After some quick preparations, all that was left to do was sit tight and wait.

It was only a matter of seconds before he arrived. He found you standing tauntingly atop his bed, silhouetted by the light from the window, clad only in a bra and shorts. Both hands were empty.

You could see him assessing the situation, casting his eyes around the room before settling back on you with a smirk.

"Oh my, MC, I never realised you were so well hung," he sung, fixating on the bulge in your shorts.

"Yaranaika?"

He approached slowly, edging forward with a glint in his eye.   
You waited till he was within a meter, then made your move.   
You sprang from the bed, and Saeyoung could only watch in awe as you became airborne. You gritted your teeth and braced for impact, slamming your groin into his surprised face as your fingers skimmed the ceiling fan, snagging the raspberries from their storage spot on the way. 

You landed in a crouch, and after hearing the resounding thump behind you as Saeyoung hit the floor, you sprinted off with a pained (but very smug) grin.

That'd keep him down for a while.

It was your victory. You raced back down the hallway, revelling in the incoming light of the kitchen where Saeran had started making cereal. A whole punnet to yourself. Uhn, gooood shit. You'd be a smug fucker when Saeyoung regained consciousness, a smug fucker full of raspberry goodness. Victory tasted sweet. You couldn't wait to open the pu-,)&)86;;&9

Your face made impact and you tumbled over, landing flat on the floor. What in the actual. 

As your senses recalibrated, you rolled over and groaned, gradually becoming aware of the clingwrap hanging off your face. Fucking Saeyoung. 

"Fuck you Saeyouuuung," you screamed in rage, though it came out sounding more like "flubclyooolslaewuuuuuuuubk."

"Speak of the Devil," the voice simpered as the man, the myth, the legend slid down and straddled your waist.

You writhed indignantly, making Very Intimidating threats through clingwrapped mumbles. Saeyoung just chuckled, leaning down to pluck the container from your limp hands.

"Sorry love, I don't speak asphyxiation."

This fucker.

You made your best 'oxygen deprived' eyes, and the ploy must have worked because he reached down and peeled off the clingwrap with a smirk.

"FuCK YOU."

You made a wild grab for the raspberries, but he laughed and held them up in the air.

"Not for you, sucker."

He shuffled his weight lower and lower down your midsection, settling in the most infuriatingly stimulating position on your pelvis. You let out a low growl, which made him laugh even more. Every movement sent a jolt through you.

"A bit of a sore point, I'd imagine. You pack a pretty hard punch with that thing."

"I'll never fucking surrender you mongrel."

"Ohoho! one cannot, if they have already lost, surrender."

"Fuck you give me the raspberries."

"Uh uh uh~," he chided. He opened he container, plucked out the juiciest, ripest looking raspberry and popped it in his mouth, chewing slowly and making deep eye contact. You wheezed indignantly as he took another, and another, hopes diminishing with every mouthful.

He took yet another, this time rocking gently, too and fro, all the while fixing you with a shit-eating grin. 

The last thing you wanted was to let show how frustrated you were feeling, but all that damn exercise left you without even a decent poker face.

You wanted those damn raspberries. But fuck, there was only one left. Screw your dignity, you wanted food.

"Saeyoung, please," you tried breathily. "Just one?"

At this sign of submission, Saeyoung's grin widened even more. He leaned down, grinding into you hard as he did so. You bit your cheeks and gritted to avoid letting a moan escape. His fingers reached in and plucked the last raspberry from the container. You couldn't help but feel a glimmer of hope, but he saw it in your eyes and smiled impossibly wider.

He plopped it into his mouth, pushing it into his cheek with his tongue.

"Come get it thennn."

You brought your lips to his and could instantly taste the tangy sweetness. Unable to help yourself, you pushed your tongue against his, swivelling it around and swelling against it. Ahhh, it was a perfect bunch. 

You may have been all but lost in blissful stupor, but Saeyoung hadn't fallen for a pushover. You slid your tongue left, probing for that damn berry. He quickly sensed your endgame, you could feel a chuckle in his chest as his eyes twinkled. His tongue deftly avoided yours, bringing the raspberry front and centre.

Before you could make another tongue joust, he crushed the raspberry against the roof of his mouth, and you were hit by the flavour. Your eyes closed as the juice trickled out the corner of your mouth. Defeat was equal parts sour snd sweet, huh.

Saeyoung wasn't letting up, far from it. He pushed you down and slid a hand towards your waistband. You slid yours up his shirt and glided across his back.

Saeran scowled, grabbed his cereal and left the room unnoticed


	6. Saeran | Macadamia

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hiking is pretty cool  
> Except when it's raining  
> Saeran is a chipmunk

To be fair, it was your idea to go hiking during monsoon season. 

How the hell Saeyoung stayed inside all day every day, you had no idea, but the fact remained that you and Saeran were slowly going stir crazy. And so it was that you decided to call an impromptu couple's holiday- a three day hike through Korea's most beautiful forests. A nice idea in theory, but in practice you hadn't factored in the monsoon season.

You and Saeran ended up under an improvised tarp shelter, sitting yourself down on your raincoats to avoid getting your underwear soaked. Your clothes weren't as fortunate.

"Cheer up chookie," you smiled wryly, grabbing his hand before he could jerk it away in disgust. "It could be worse!"

"How."

"Your brother could be here with us."

This was met with silence, but you could feel the mood lighten considerably. 

You took the opportunity to cast your eyes around at the drenched but beautiful scenery. Water gushed from the canopy, droplets trickling down the leaves like tiny jewels. 

Nice.

Saeran shifted uncomfortably next to you, trying to keep his shoes out of the rain.

"Dude, look at the trees."

"Damn chlorophyll hoes."

You were going to have to try harder.

"But look at the rain pouring out of the canopy! Look at the streams of sunlight coming through! Look at the moss villages, vibrant and bustling!"

"Sky piss, radiation and and army of parasites."

Your spirits wouldn't be crushed so easily.

"Listen to the cicadas chirping away! Singing love songs to each other in the late afternoon rush!"

"They're drowning. Those are their dying cries. Damn bugs."  
Okay, Plan B then.

You rummaged through your backpack and brought out a plastic packet. At the rustling, you could see Saeran's ears prick up as he leaned over hopefully.

His face said clearly- 'Chocolate?? Please be chocolate?? Sweets? Anything with high sugar content? Please??' 

The corners of his mouth dropped visibly as he caught sight of their contents.

"The hell are those."

'Deez nuts' crossed your mind, but you could read the mood. This conversation needed saving.

"Macadamias. They're a popular walking snack, lots of energy."

"They look like petrified turds."

God damn it Saeran, throw us a bone here.

"Hey, they taste pretty good for fossilised faeces. Give it a try."

He fixed you with a Saeran look. His eyes clouded with mistrust.

"You go first then," he said slowly, not taking his eyes off you as you opened the packet. You grabbed an innocuous white thing and crunched down, smiling at your boyfriend as you did so.

He didn't move a muscle till you finished.

"See? Yum!"

Saeran stayed silent, his green eyes boring a hole in your forehead.

"Wanna try?"

He took his time to answer.

"Fine."

He made no motion to take a macadamia, so you grabbed one out of the packet and leaned over with a grin. 

"Open up," you cooed sweetly.

He kept his eyes locked with yours, but opened his mouth just enough for you to push the macadamia in. He stayed rigid and still.

"Now chew."

He obliged, munching slowly. He finished, still with his eyes firmly planted on you.

"How was that?"

"Tastes like shit."

You were done. Done. Gone. Bye. You grabbed a handful and shoved them in your mouth, chewing with a sour expression. He could entertain himself then damn it. 

Man, you had worked so hard to organise this- making bookings, finding second hand hiking gear, researching the right foods to bring and everything. Saeran didn't have to love the trip, but he didn't have to shoot down every suggestion or idea. All you wanted was for him to show some damn respect, or at least-

A plastic rustling snapped you back into reality. Your head jerked towards the source of the sound, and found none other than Saeran, mouth bulging with suspiciously nut-shaped lumps like a bloody chipmunk. Realising he'd been caught, he started crunching belligerently.

Taste like shit, huh.

When he could finally speak, he faced you unabashed.

"Better than starving," he conceded gruffly, and reached for another handful.

Hang on, the packet was almost empty. 

You snatched it away quickly, grabbing a couple before Saeran could lunge at you with a cry. When he did so, he crashed into you and almost knocked you clean over. You kept it clear of his flailing hands, munching furiously so you could fit more in. 

He sensed your plan, and tackled you to the muddy ground, pinning you underneath him.

At this rate, it was only a matter of time before he'd steal victory. Drastic measures were necessary.

You grabbed him by the collar, pulled his face to yours and kissed him savagely. You could feel him shudder with pleasure, shifting to find a better angle. His hands began trailing down your sides, catching briefly on your damp flannel shirt fabric. You sighed with pleasure and wrapped your arms around his lower back, pulling him even closer. He wedged a knee between your thighs for more contact, and the two of you huffed and heaved.

He may have smelled like mud, but he tasted like macadamia, so you didn't really mind.

The packet itself lay forgotten in a puddle of mud.

Saeyoung wondered why you both came home muddy, sore and weirdly smug, but he didn't want to push the point.


	7. V | Pistachios

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Smol bean  
> Is an agent of karma  
> It's nice

Art was more Jihyun's thing than yours. Which wasn't to say that it wasn't yours. 

But it wasn't yours. 

And so it was that you found yourself wandering idly through the gallery halls, passing painting after painting after painting after painting. 

It wasn't like you couldn't stand being here, but lets face it, you were more here for your beloved partner than for his loosely-acquainted pigment smearing aristocratic 'friends.' 

The hell was modern art anyway. Any poe-faced average Jane or Joe needed only raid the local dollar store for discount acrylics and canvas, and keep a straight face as they slathered their 'inner turmoil' onto the white background. While you knew you weren't in a position to judge, it seemed like the mantra of recent 'fine art' was 'Shaight is right.' Maybe you just weren't artistic enough to understand these lofty concepts.

When you put it to Jihyun, he'd smiled wryly and fobbed you off with the whole 'Beauty is in the eye of the beholder' bull, which was V-code for 'pass this round' and left you feeling even less satisfied, if that were possible.

Painting, painting, painting. Red smudge, turd smear, etc. Your beloved was taking his sweet time at the gallery opening ceremony.

When you thought about it, he probably drew the short straw there. 

Bored shitless, you looked at your watch, certain that at least an hour must have dragged by. 

Damn. Twelve minutes. 

Snack time.

You dragged yourself to the nearest vending machine, pausing in disgust to regard the range of authentic, organic upmarket vegan delights. Was it too much to ask for some crappy chemical ridden junk crisps? Clearly this place had more money than sense- their pantry was devoid of happiness.

You rattled round your cargo pants for spare change, finding a miserable stash that guaranteed only an inch-wide packet of nuts. You jabbed the button violently, and watched the pathetic mass fall.

On the front it read: "WARNING! CONTAINS NUTS."

Yeah, no shit Sherlock.

You ripped open the package to find about seven shrivelled green things. Pistachios. Damn yuppies couldn't even muster some decent salted peanuts.

Ah well, it'd do.

You plonked down on the hard couch with a heavy sigh. Once you'd shifted out of direct sunlight, you found that your little nest was not too bad. You grabbed a pistachio and munched on it contemplatively, wondering how Jihyun could stand these arrogant elitists and their unironic narcissism.

He certainly wasn't the type to pick fights, so he was probably grinning and bearing the speeches in silence.

Your fingers scrabbled around to find the packet was already empty. Damn.

Maybe the opening ceremony would provide better entertainment after all. Also you missed your man's very attractive face. Probably more the latter.

You wound through the galleries without so much as glancing at a single artwork, finally reaching the great oak door. There was a thin crack, and you used this as your spy hole. Eyeing the crowd, you couldn't find Jihyun until you heard his warm voice through the microphone. You finally spotted him, standing up in the front row and addressing the front speaker.

"With respect, Mr Cho, I find myself unable to fathom the complexity of your artistic process. You say you meditated for five days to reach metaphysical clarity before developing your," here he paused, "latest masterpiece."

"Correct. 'Turbulence of the inner soul' was tailored to the most minute detail. It was only with eyes that could discern the great intricacies of the human spirit that I was fully able to realise the completion of this groundbreaking work."

"And to be able to convey this so strongly through the vessel of childlike innocence is truly impressive."

"Pray, elaborate, Mr Kim."

"Oh, I refer to your use of acrylics in such a fashion that it so greatly resembles a toddler's most candid scribblings."

"Mr Kim, you perhaps miss my point- my true purpose was indeed to-"

Jihyun continued over him. 

"The style you have used is strikingly authentic, to the point where, if laid beside the musings of genuine four year olds, would be all but indistinguishable."

The portly man on stage was beginning to bluster.

"Forgive me if I assume you are likening my painting to that of a mere child, but-"

"Oh, but of course Mr Cho, I understand now your ultimate purpose, making the point that the human tendency towards chaos is apparent in all of us, even the most humbly talentless of children."

Mr Cho stood slack jawed, trying to process the attack. 

At the same time, the microphone fell from Jihyun's hands and clattered to the floor. Through the feedback, you could just catch your beautiful partner apologising, explaining ruefully that the medication he took for his eyes would cause occasional muscle jolts, before excusing himself to the restroom. This was all you heard before your legs gave out and you fell to the ground, doubling over in silent laughter. Your love found you rolling on the floor, clutching at your sides in hysterics.

"You weren't supposed to hear that, MC."

"And you weren't supposed to be capable of dragging people through the mud, but there you go," you managed to force out through hiccups.

"Ah, but he was a moron with his taste in his arse. I merely restored karmic balance by taking him down a notch."

"You annihilated him gleefully."

"Perhaps I enjoyed that a little too much," Jihyun mused, wrapping his arm around your waist and guiding you down the corridor.

"You were magnificent, my love."

He turned to face you with a glint in his eyes.

"I didn't think you liked bad boys, little angel."

"I do have a thing for heroes of karmic balance."

"I can think of some karma that hasn't yet been restored," he said with a sly grin, tugging you into an exhibition room.  
It was none other than the great 'Turbulence of the Inner Soul'.

Oh god, not in front of the kindergarteners.

He held the rope up and the two of you ducked under. Before you could speak, Jihyun grabbed your shoulders and pinned you to the wall. He leaned in as your hands encircled his back, bringing him flush against you.

He kissed you deeply, and the two of you breathed together.   
He pulled back to fix you with piercing mint eyes and a self-satisfied smile.

"You taste like pistachio. It's nice."

"You taste like karmic retribution. It's nice."

The two of you spent the next little while enjoying the art gallery on your own terms.

**Author's Note:**

> Hope yall enjoyed, thanks for reading! If you want to leave a request, head over to my (wasteland of a tumblr) (https://bird-in-the-bin.tumblr.com/)  
> Have a nice day!


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